Lesson 5: I am not Superwoman

It has been awhile since I've blogged. Chock it all up to trying to be superwoman, which I have found out I am not. I guess I can do without the tights, but I really wanted a cape, damnit.

So, what happened, right? I decided to start graduate school, while working full-time, and planning a wedding. I'll admit it, wedding planning started to go on the back burner and school took center stage (enough mixed metaphors for you). Anyway, school was horrible, and not because I am a bad student, but because I chose the wrong school. Buyer beware, Ashford University is not a good school.

Long story short, after weeks of feeling like an utter failure because of a professor who could not understand how to give feedback, I quit. Yup, I am a grad school drop out. I felt really bad about this at first, but I've now processed all of this and I'm moving on. I'll eventually go back to grad school - one that cares about the success of their students, but for now I'm back to focusing on the wedding.

Now to find a DJ and order my shoes, since no place in all of San Francisco seems to have turquoise shoes. All I want is a pair of turquoise heels to go with my dress, is that too much to ask? Apparently.

Lesson 4: It's the little things

It has truly been what I should probably view as a crappy week, but I'm in surprisingly good spirits. Why? Why indeed. I should think it was a crappy week because the car got broken into by some crackhead on Polk street, who took a few CDs and yet caused $3000 worth of damage. I should think it is a crappy week because I then had to drive to Sacramento with a broken window so that I could get to a compliance conference on time. I should think it is a crappy week because Byron lost his wallet last night.

I don't think it is a crappy week because someone found and returned Byron's wallet with everything still intact. It somewhat restored my faith in humanity. I also turned 33 this week, which in my eyes is a good thing. I feel somehow in control and ready to conquer this task of planning a wedding without killing anyone. That's a major step forward.

I'm also in a good mood because next weekend we are going to the Mendocino coast to look at places to get married. I've finally confirmed a handful of places and fingers crossed we move into May having narrowed down where we will be getting married. I suppose narrowed down isn't the appropriate word choice. We have nothing to narrow it down from.

All in all I am looking forward to actually looking at places. In fact, I was feeling so good this week that I bought a new wedding planner book. Oh yes...nothing like organization to get me excited.

Here's hoping the good mood continues and that after next weekend we are one step closer to setting the date.

Lesson 3: Friends and a dress make everything better

I did it, I found the dress. I could go on and on about the dress. It makes me feel so incredible and gorgeous all at the same time, but what I'd rather go on about is the experience. 


I love having girlfriends, I have several women in my life who I know will be there for me always, and I feel so very lucky to be able to say that. I have to say that when you are feeling overwhelmed by it all sometimes the only thing that can pull you out of it are your best girlfriends. It helps when they are all married and can actually understand the stress you are possibly just putting yourself through. 


So, armed with my favorite women I ventured out for my first dress shopping experience. We started in Alameda. Why Alameda? The woman that owns the store also makes dresses, so I figured if all else fails...I couldn't have been happier with the experience. I tried on dress after dress; from the fairy princess dress (thanks girlfriends for making me look like a giant puff of tulle) to sexy dresses and then I found it. As I walked out of the dressing room to look in the big mirror I saw the look on my friends' faces and then I turned and looked in the mirror and everyone else disappeared. I cried. I actually cried over a dress. Who knew? 


The place, Janene's Bridal, was fabulous. Not only did they have a large selection of dresses, but they were so very welcoming and accommodating. They let my friends get me in and out of the dresses, but were there to help when I needed them. They offered their opinions and encouragement, yet didn't try to sell me anything and they didn't constantly ask me my price range. I didn't realize how wonderful this experience was until I went to the second shop in the city. 


I chose the second shop because the shop owner assured me they carried dresses that came in red. 

I made my appointment for Paris Connection a month in advance. When I called I told Marie that I wanted something that came in red and she assured me that she carried gowns that came in various colors. So, as you can imagine I was one very excited bride-to-be.

A few days before my appointment she called to ask me what time it was at. This should have been my first sign. I confirmed the time with her and thought all was good in the world. Still a happy bride-to-be.

A few hours before my appointment she left me a message asking if I could come in 2 hours earlier. Another sign I should have listened to. I couldn't help but wonder why she didn't ask me this when I spoke with her two days earlier. As luck would have it I couldn't come early, I had an appointment elsewhere.

So, I show up on time and lo and behold she'd changed locations. She didn't even bother to tell me on either occasion I spoke with her. Fortunately the security guard at her previous location pointed me in the right direction.

When we finally found it I was shocked. The selection of dresses was ridiculous, the dressing room appeared to be a storage closet, and there were already a handful of people in the very cramped space. I wasn't even greeted when I first walked in the door. When someone finally did greet me and I asked about the colored dresses I was told they had coffee colored dresses. NOT what I had asked for.

Needless to say I tried on a handful of dresses and while I found one that I somewhat liked I would in no way buy it there. They were so utterly disorganized that I would fear the dress would not get ordered.

So, Paris Connection was a no go, but it solidified how fabulous the first place was and how much I loved the dress. I can't wait to go back with my mom and show her.

Lesson 2: Don't fret, just go shopping.

My best friends from college are headed into town tomorrow and Friday to help me go wedding dress shopping. Yippy! I'm definitely excited, but rather spent all at the same time. It has been a busy week at chez moi. Hosting a friend from out of town that I hadn't seen in 9 years and now 3 more friends are on their way. 


I should probably feel ecstatic, but I don't think it has sunk in yet that I'm actually going to go try on wedding dresses. It feels sort of surreal and then I start to wonder if it is strange that I am going to try on wedding dresses and don't even know when I am going to get married. Of course it is thoughts like these that send me into a panic and I become the amazing freakazoid that I am when I get stressed out. So, I have decided to just enjoy this weekend and take it as step one in wedding planning. Who cares if I'm doing things out of order? It's our wedding after all, right? 


So, here's to a fun filled weekend with friends.

Lesson 1: pencils are not for stabbing

I'm engaged, yup - have been for about 5 months. Where the hell did he time go? I'm really not in a rush to get married, but it seems everyone else is in a rush for us to get married, which turns me into a stress case and is leading me down the path of apathetic bride. Who wants to be apathetic about getting married? No bueno. I want to be excited about this!!

My goal for this week: do not kill anyone who asks me when the date is even if I really, really, want to stab them in the eye with a pencil.